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Carla, Daphne, Terry and Wynn Look at
ĎBeing Withí and Group Energy


 

Message a Day Archives

Monday Calls; 2013 Conferences

3.18.2013

Host: Wynn Free

Audio Link - https://intelligentinfinity.egnyte.com/h-s/20130124/e240c42e51584397

Channeled by Terry Brown

Transcribed by Connie O'Brien

Edited by Terry Brown, Valerie Hawes and David Masty

Formatted and sent by Gary Brownlee

 

Wynn:  Hey everybody, it is March 18, 2013. This is our Monday night call; welcome to everybody thatís listening on the Internet and all of you that are listening on the conference lines and all of you that are listening on the replays.

 

Iíve got a really interesting topic tonight.

 

For those of you that were on yesterdaysí conference call, our planetary healing session, I started talking about something, a really unusual topic. As you might know, I start these things and I start talking. I donít know what Iím going to say; it kind of comes in the moment. I was talking about what I feel happens on our Sunday calls, because the Sunday calls are different than our other two calls and itís developed over a long period of time.

 

Iím learning things as this goes on, because I really donít know what Iím doing. Thereís nowhere to figure it out, so we just do things. I watch the results; I watch the impact on people and I try to explain to myself, ďHow is this working? What is going on here?Ē

 

Iím trying to understand it just on the basis of what it is, not on the basis of what the Elohim say or the Ra group says, but using that as a certain reference point of wisdom and cosmic understanding. Nonetheless, I still have to integrate it on a personal level for it to be real to me.

 

I have this idea on our Sunday call and the way itís evolved, that we are actually creating group energy. Weíre creating something that exists in another dimension when we come on those calls, each of us, and itís true on this call, too, but itís not so directly focused on that. The Sunday call is focused on that. Every time we come together, thereís some aspect of group energy thatís developing.

 

I know that our Sources, these two group souls, have group energy. Iím trying to understand how they work, which is not easy, because Iím not there; Iím here; so I just listen, observe. Theyíre a big team that can come together and come and go apart; they can have councils. They can have sub-councils. When itís required for them to operate as a team, they can choose to do that. When itís best that they have individual delegation of things they can do that.

 

On some level the idea has come to me that on these calls, particularly our Sunday call, we are emulating a group soul in 3D, in the sense that weíre coming together and creating a group energy and the group energy, to fulfill the requirements of the highest good, the requirements of the highest truth, has to be of total free will.

 

Group energy doesnít necessarily have to be positive; it can be negative. A group of people can come together to put intentions out for self-serving interests, so we have to create a group energy that doesnít do that; that creates the intent for only positive, service-to-other things to come about. It also, on some level, has to have some benefit to us individually.

 

The way that I was explaining it yesterday is that on some level, itís like we are building a reservoir of energy. I think our Sources are joining that reservoir, so even though weíre just a small group, there are millions and millions and millions of them, so that they have a certain amount of them, that they join that group energy with. We need to build the receiving antennae for that energy. Itís hard for one person to do it just as an individual; I donít think itís possible.

 

I donít think I do it as an individual; I think I draw on that group energy just as well as you do. When thereís that reservoir there, an energy, it started out that it would come and then it would go and everyone would separate and weíd come back and weíd do it again and then everyone went back to their old form. In fact sometimes, a couple of years ago, I didnít feel that energy come in until way into the call; weíd have to talk; weíd have to have fun; weíd have to laugh; weíd do whatever weíd do and suddenly there was a magic moment where something switched.

 

Now on the Sunday calls, I experience that itís like a half hour before the call and I can feel the energy of the group coming together. The way I interpret that is that as the time of the call approaches, many of you have learned to feel that energy, and as soon as you start thinking about it before the call, youíre creating the intent and weíre starting to combine our energies before the call starts. So we are hitting the ground running, starting at a much higher point and building upon that.

 

Of course, the time seems to go really fast when youíre in that experience. Now Iím sure some of you are listening and perhaps you havenít had that experience yet. I will say, keep coming back, because maybe by talking about it, it helps you to understand what that experience is to look for. Because itís not a normal human experience to do that, you donít really have reference points to say, ďThis is like thatĒ or ďThis is like thisĒ; I donít have reference points.

 

Weíre learning as a group. I tell the people oftentimes on Sunday, even though Iím talking and Iím the center of attention, itís not about me; itís about us. Iím feeling the energy; Iím talking to the energy, or the energy is talking through me; I donít know the right words.

 

I had this idea that the real culmination of this idea of a group energy which is in another dimension is on a human level that we start to have the experience of living inside of each other. Some of us are strangers and we feel that group energy; we donít know you. Youíre listening and youíre out in the environs somewhere, on the outskirts and yet youíre feeling the energy.

 

Youíre participating in it and youíre part of the creation of it. Some of us are getting to know each other. Some time ago I felt the idea of getting to know each other was important because our human side really appreciates the experience of connecting with other people that understand the process. If you participated and experienced that group energy that happens when you get to know each other on a more personal level, you have a deeper connection and other people understand you.

 

One of the aspects of this came up in a conversation with somebody today and they were telling me how much the call yesterday impacted them. I thought about it, and I said, ďMaybe it impacted other people as well.Ē They were saying that they could feel me inside them and I could feel them inside me.

 

Some of you are not only feeling me or Terry inside you; as soon as you love somebody theyíre inside you; theyíre not separated from you. We started a project called Team Shift, where people will come together every day in a small group and call in the Light on a conference call. Itís been kind of a back-burner project; there is probably sixty or seventy people doing it. When I gave my talk yesterday, Michael in San Diego was at the talk. I asked him, ďWhat impacted you most in the work weíre doing?Ē Heís been coming for probably a few years now, and he said Team Shift, because heís developed a group of people that connect every day.

 

I looked at it and I said that I think Carla and I have been developing that experience of living inside each other. You know, when I say that, I have to reinforce the idea this is total free will; Iím not co-dependent and I donít need Carla; sheís not co-dependent and she doesnít need me. We talked about it today and I talked about that experience with her. I was talking about it in relationship to the Christ, the Christed energies. I said, ďI think this is related in some way.Ē

 

Carla has a particular, I donít know if Iíd say religious, connection with Jesus; itís different than mine. I had read the New Testament when I was younger and I kept asking myself, ďI understand a lot of the words that Jesus is sayingĒ; I understand them in a way that I knew they were true in my own life. I could validate them, but I was brought up Jewish and it was never like in my experience to say things like, ďJesus is my personal saviorĒ or things like that. But I knew what he was saying; I knew the experience. I was having some of those experiences in my life at the time. I was feeling like, ďThis must be what Jesus was going throughĒ.

 

You have to look from my point of view. Jesus was a human; he was very much human. As a human, he would make mistakes. In fact, in the Ra Material, I think it was in the Ra Material, Qíuo or Ra, it was indicated that when Jesus was a young man he got so angry at someone that his anger caused the person to die. He had to do a lot of amends in thinking about that and what that meant. When we look at Jesus as being perfect, he certainly was not, at least as I get it, but he did something amazing in his life.

 

One of the things about having somebody live inside you is the fact that you get to feel not only their beautiful, loving nature you get to feel all of the human side of them; the things that are not perfect. On some level, if you find yourself having your expectations too high, then you kind of reject them, because you find whatís wrong with them. Thereís something wrong with everybody; itís okay to have something wrong with you.

 

I was talking to Carla today. We were talking about Jesus, there was that Biblical experience, where they were going to stone this woman who was a prostitute; I think thatís right. Jesus said, ďLet he who is without sin cast the first stoneĒ. He was saying, ďWho are you to judge her and where is your perfection?í

 

So, we all haveóI donít use the word Ďsiní, but we have distortions, a human nature, a selfish side, a lustful side. Itís different for everybody, a jealous side and an acquisitive side. We all have that to some extent or another. Now, youíre going to let somebody in you, in this Christed space and maybe youíre going to feel some of their aspects.

 

Maybe youíll reject that experience, because you find everything wrong with them. In my opinion, itís that you can notice that and still hold to the beauty of the connection. To me, this is how the spiritual work downloads in a human way, that we can experience that.

 

When you have that experience of sharing space with another human in such an intimate way, because it is intimate, even though youíre not even seeing each other; itís still intimate and very, very deep and close. It starts you on a state of healing yourself and forgiving yourself and accepting yourself, because if someone else accepts you, you start to accept yourself. I donít think it ever means that youíre totally perfect and I donít think that works in a human level. Because weíre human we all have survival issues; we have all kinds of things weíre working with.

 

You can make yourself unworthy of being loved because of all those issues. Particularly if youíre on a spiritual path, you start looking at yourself and you say ďIím not worthy of this; Iím not that worthy of the Elohim or Ra to pay attention to me. Iím not worthy of being loved.Ē Yet I know thatís not true.

 

In fact, you have to start where you are and accept yourself to move through it. Even when you move through it, even when those aspects are not predominating, theyíre probably still there on some lower level of programming. It becomes not letting them control you. You can notice them, but you donít have to take action on them. Itís okay that they come up; if you suddenly feel jealous, you donít have to say, ďIím bad; Iím feeling jealous.Ē You just have to say, ďHereís my lower nature bringing up jealousy. Iím not going act on it; Iíll go through the feeling. Itís not real; Iím not competing with anybody. I hope they do well.Ē Keep working on it that way; you may have to do that for the rest of your life. They may always come up. I used jealousy; you can use anything.

 

I thought Iíd have Carla just share whatever sheíd like to share in response to that.

 

Carla:  Okay. Hey, everybody.

 

Iíll take a couple steps back; one to the left and bob twice.

 

Going back to what he was saying about it coming from a spiritual place, I think that reality is that we all are one. We really are all together; itís a matter of becoming aware of it and feeling comfortable about it. I think the way it started with me anyway, it was a long, long time ago when I was a kid and I could feel that there was like an ever-living fountain inside of me that never stopped bubbling up.

 

Sometimes it would bubble up joy and sometimes I wouldnít be in joy I would be in another feeling. I would be in pearly feelings on a rainy day; Iíd be feeling contemplative and thoughtful. Or, it would be exciting feelings. ďOh, boy here comes March; March Madness; The University of Louisville, Number One, yay, yay!Ē You know; thatís bubbling up.

 

But whatís mostly bubbling up is a basic state of alrightness and that basic joy I guess youíd call it; just simple joy. Itís just so good to be alive; itís so good to be, smelling the roses. Itís so good to be here; itís so good to be serving the Creator in whatever way we can and then just feeling that bubbling up. Itís not coming from me; itís coming through me.

 

Iím participating in it; Iím partaking of it. Iím feeling it as it comes through. So Iím part of the fountain and so that part of the fountain that is me is colored in a certain way. Itís not just the day thatís coloring it, whether itís sunny or whether itís rainy; but itís maybe whether Iím sunny or whether Iím rainy inside or whatever.

 

Itís not an effort and itís not anything that is within my control, except that I can ignore it and I can live in a shallow way and decide, ďOh, I donít really want to be aware of the archetypal minds today; I think Iím going to be totally shallow and Iím going to go shop for shoes.Ē But you canít help it, because youíre shopping for shoes and youíre feeling the joy of shopping for shoes.

 

You canít get away from the fact that there is what you could call your Christed self, your consciousness, that is the essence of you. Whatever else you are, if you get deep enough, if you get quiet enough, if you focus into yourself enough, you come upon this fountain that is constantly giving you Infinity. Itís flowing through you and out into the world and through you and out into the world.

 

Where is it coming from? Itís coming from The Infinite Creator; itís bouncing from the Creator to the Sun and from the Sun to the heart of the Earth, from the Earth to the soles of our feet and up through our bodies and through our spines up through our spines and our electrical bodies that follow along the spines, all the chakras get a little poke you know. Up through the heart and up through the speech and the truthfulness and then up into spiritual work, all those energies up in the head and then out through the top of the head like a flame and out, back into the creation. Itís constantly doing that; itís almost like the fountain then cycles back down and comes back through and itís almost like, ďWell, maybe itís a circle instead of a fountain.Ē

 

I donít know what the right model of it is, but thereís that before you ever associate with another person. When you are able to associate with another personómaybe with--like Wynn, we have this suspicion that weíve worked together before in other lifetimes; itís always been really easy for us to sort of vibe in together. Whatever one person is talking about, the other person goes, ďOh yeah, I know whatís youíre saying.Ē Itís easy to understand and thereís no effort. Thatís always nice.

 

I have the same thing with my husband. We notice it time and again; he can be gone foróI guess he was gone for all of three hours today and he came back and he said, ďIím so glad to see you! I feel like Iíve been gone an age. Itís really good to touch in with you.Ē Thereís that joy; thereís that joy. You donít have to be together; itís not necessary to be together. Thereís not a co-dependence there; thereís not neediness. Nobodyís pulling at anybody and yet there it is. What a joy it is to feel that. Really, never lose it; I never lose that feeling once Iíve gotten to that point with somebody; I never really lose it. Itís not something that I actually have thought a lot about, except there was this one time.

 

We have a spiritual community here and we had a gal that was living in the house and volunteering, doing her very best to serve the Creator along with us and really loved The Law of One and wanted to help us out. She was helping us out a lot.

 

She and I went together on a trip to Britain. I had to go over there because I had to be in somebodyís wedding. She was a Sufi and a Bahaíi and in the Bahaíi faith there is something where you stand for somebody, like an advisor. The bride has one and the groom has one. I was the groomís advisor. I thought to myself, ďI do not want to collect all the capital necessary to pay for a ticket over there and back and not do anything but go to a wedding.Ē

 

So, I put it up on my site, L & L Researchís site, and said, ďIf you have a public place that we can meet I will be glad to teach for donations only. Let me know and weíll get it together. I got together five different teaching locations all throughout Britain, north, south, east, west and London and it was fun.

 

She just was incredible; I canít carry anything. She was pushing me, schlepping bags. I donít know how in the world she did all she did, but by golly, we got everywhere we needed to go. I did all the teaching I needed to do. She was so incredible; I was having a very intense time of it. It was at that point where I was starting not to be able to walk, so there was less and less mobility and more and more pain and a lot of difficulties.

 

So she and I were together a lot; we were playing Robbie Robertsonís Songs for American Indian People, something like that, and focusing on the American Indian ways. We started being able to dream the same dream and be in each otherís dreams and things like that, which is part of this experience sometimes. Iíve done the same thing with Wynn and certainly with my husband.

 

When she got back she couldnít shake that closeness that we had achieved, because once you achieve it there you are. Youíre joined and you donít do anything with it but itís there. Finally she said she just couldnít take it anymore; she needed to leave the community becauseóthis is a quote, I donít know how true it isóshe said I lived in a very high degree of truth. She felt as though she was in the desert without a hat and she just was getting burned. She couldnít really take it anymore; so off she went. I still feel that with her but of course I donít do anything about it. Itís not something that she wants to do anything with.

 

At any rate, there are drawbacks to it if you are of the suspicion that everybodyís got an agenda. I think thatís the one drawback; that when you experience this you need to let go of the concern that people might take advantage of you. If you start feeling that theyíre too needy, that theyíre trying to put you on a pedestal, that theyíre judging you, any of those things, then you need to make a boundary and you need to make a distance between yourself and the other person, which can be done. Itís fairly easily done, as long as you really, really mean it.

 

Thatís what you need to let go of in order to enjoy and participate in this being inside of each other, being one with each other at the very deepest and most intimate of spiritual levels. There is so much good that can be done by the doubling; you know, one and one is two, and two and two is four, but then the third person makes eight and the fourth person makes sixteen. Every time another person comes in it doubles the amount of energy that the group has. You very quickly get to a very high degree of energy and are able to serve and affect the Light and make the planet have more Light; offer more Light to the planet by making a place where that fountain can bubble through into the world.

 

Weíre the only people that can do that because weíre humans. All the wonderful animals in the world, they do wonderful things; they donít know how to do this. Only we humans can do that and people that arenít in the body, that arenít in incarnation here, they canít do that either. They can serve; they can be there for us. But we are the ones that make the space on this side of the veil. So we can make a difference.

 

We do make a difference all the time, even if thereís nobody that weíre with, because we can get this fountain effect going simply by claiming our relationship with the Greater Self, the Creator and feeling that oneness on a very deep level. My goodness, what a blessing it is and what a pleasure it is to have friends of that intimate nature, where you can rest in each other and you give rest to each other.

 

Go ahead, Wynn.

 

Wynn:  I think that as we speak of the idea of this itís very important for a person that would like to have this kind of experience. Here is like a fine line: if you let yourself get close to somebody in this way and itís of the highest, youíre going to be aware of them at a very deep level. And theyíre going to be aware of you. If youíre ashamed of the parts of yourself, or any parts of yourself, then you may block this experience because you donít want anyone to see that because youíre ashamed of it.

 

You have an attachment to how youíre being seen and you want to put yourself out in a way that people canít see those parts of you. To have this experience, you have to let go of that and you have to be willing to be seen. At the same time, you have to realize that other person canít save you from yourself, but they can inwardly support you so that it speeds up the process of saving yourself or getting above all that stuff.

 

One of the things about getting close to somebody is oftentimes when people are going through a lot of struggles and a lot of hardships, they become co-dependent. They want your energy on the outer level instead of the inner level. When you try to do it on the outer level, like talk to somebody, give them compassion, be their friend, they start wanting that all the time. It is not anywhere near the same thing as living inside someone. Itís a trick to be able to pull it off. I think that by coming together constantly on these calls and developing that reservoir of energy, it is creating a reference-point that all of you can work with.

 

If anyone wants to join Team Shift as an experiment and see if you have to apply this in Team Shift, because youíre going to be meeting people on the outer level, but the goal is not to have the outer level be it; itís supposed to be the key to open up the inner levels so people share that aspect of themselves that is one with the Creator; the oneness of everything. You start developing inner support instead of outer support. The outer support becomes secondary to the inner support.

 

Itís a developmental thing and it can happen in the blink of an eye or it might take months. I decided to do this call and talk about this, because it creates a vision, a model of how it feels. I know that some of you will think that thereís something special about me or Carla. Of course there is something special, but thereís something special about everyone and in everyoneís unique way they have the ability to do this.

 

I have talents; Iím a good speaker. So youíre probably not going to be as good a speaker as I and Carlaís a good speaker and I have people around me that are bringing through messages. And Carla brings through messages, but we are still human. We have the full spectrum of the humanness. To feel the humanness in us allows you to feel the humanness in yourself and to accept yourself and to get over the shame of the parts of you that are not perfect. People think theyíre going to go away, like *boom*; itís not my experience that it works that way. All my imperfect parts are still there.

 

In fact last week I got in trouble because I was on a call with the transcribers and I was eating potato chips. A couple of people got really mad at me, because I was being disrespectful. I apologize if you happened to be on that call and you heard the potato chips crunching. I was also tired because my energy was being set up to go to L.A. to go to these workshops. I didnít want to be on the call, but I wanted to be on the call because thatís a really important project weíre doing. So maybe eating potato chips was giving people a chance to see if they would judgeÖ

 

The thing about it is, the mistakes you make are what everyone remembers you by, at least right afterwards. Itís not necessarily the track record of all the good things youíre doing. They see one mistake and they say, ďWynn is really like thatĒ or ďCarla is really like thatĒ. No matter how many calls Iíve done or how much dedication Iíve shown, eating potato chips was my sin of the day and probably not being totally present in the way people wanted me to be present.

 

But, these are very exercises that give us the opportunity to see through the lower aspects of ourselves, see through them and forgive somebody and re-integrate the rest. As long as youíre seeing the personís faults and looking at them and focusing on them, you will never have the experience of anyone live inside you in a free will, supportive, loving way in the way that can heal you and heal each other. We are part of each otherís healing if we let it take place.

 

I thought that I would let Terry and Daphne share their perspective on this particular topic if theyíd like to do it. Terry?

 

Terry:  Okay, I could say a few words.

 

I think for me the connection with the higher Sources and the Christ Consciousness and the All That Is, the Spirit, is like a friend and a stabilizer for me so that when in my past Iíve had a lot of instability, like when I was kid I got sent to a foster home and put up for adoption and all kinds of stuff happened so I felt like I was just really kind of in the way and I wasnít allowed to have friends. I had a hard time with my development and knowing how to relate with people because I didnít know what the outcome would be. So I kind of went into the higher realms and established more secure, I thought, relationships.

 

Iím still kind of experimenting with this-world relationships, where Iíll open myself up to somebody. Iíll feel really friendly and outgoing towards them and then all of a sudden theyíre gone. They stop talking to me, or they drop off the line or something. Iím still experimenting with this-world relationships.

 

Wynn:  Iím calling it the Christed relationship. I think when you develop the Christed relationship with somebody, then thereís not the co-dependency of having their energy and pointing it toward you. You can feel their energy with you; you can be with somebody and create the energy there but itís only reinforcing what was there already, already flowing along. When thereís no energy on the inner thatís flowing, every time youíre with that person you start from zero and try to create some kind of rapport.

 

Now, I notice that I used to go to love people really deeply, but they didnít know how to love back on this level. I didnít understand it at all; itís like I could see them and I could see where they were being, this was when I was younger, where they were blocked, but they couldnít see themselves. I remember getting into conflicts because when somebody is more contracted than you, you have to go to their level of contraction.

 

Suddenly, everyone is figuring out who is doing what. ďSomethingís wrong here; is that you or is it me?Ē From their point of view it looks like you and from your point of view it looks like them. Everyone is arguing about whatís going on; this is a working-out kind of relationship; it hasnít moved into the Christed energy. All that stuff takes place and you just move above it and love them and support them inwardly.

 

Daphne, do you want to make any comments about all this?

 

Daphne:  Hi there. This is a very complex topic. My own experience is actually quite a bit different than what Wynn has talked about. Heís talking about what from my perspective seems like a more personalized relationship of the Christed consciousness with other people. I come more from a Vedantic, or the wisdom tradition of the East, even though I have a strong affiliation with Orthodox Christianity, the Greek Orthodox Church and also mystical Catholicism. Iím more of a meditator. So the personal aspect of the relationship has not been as much a part of my past.

 

The Christed consciousness doesnít necessarily, in my experience, mean a personal relationship. Oftentimes, it can mean bearing witness and bearing the truth or the validity of a situation from a point of centeredness, which may or may not entail a personal relationship. Iím not sure if I can explain more than that; itís not necessarily the warm-fuzzies. It can be that if that is an authentic expression itís not necessarily something that the personality-self can understand. Oftentimes our personality-self is caught up in wanting to preserve aspects of the ego and aspects of the egoic control that have a very hard time surrendering to a deeper truth.

 

I know that sounds kind of heavy and maybe it is heavy, because there has always been, at least in my own past, an absolutely fierce kind of a spiritual warrior adherence to truth. Itís just what Iíve had to do; itís been my life. My life didnít have a lot of warm fuzzies in it. I didnít have warm-fuzzy parents and it just hasnít been my way. But I guess thatís what I would say about it.

 

Wynn:  You know what? Everyoneís got their path and everyone has to figure out their own path in their own way. Iím just trying to make some understanding because weíre in the middle of having a group here. What Iíve learned is that even though I can be very reclusive and be very happy being reclusive, Iíve found myself in the middle of this experience, which actually Daphne provoked to a great extent. I said, ďWhat does this mean?Ē I started to learn that there were some extraordinary things that were important to people. How do I do this? How do I make this important to people? Then you start feeling people and you start feeling, ďWhat do I do next in terms of supporting the people who are paying attention to this work? How do I do that? How do I stay true to myself? How do I not get caught up in everything that everyone is going through? How do I not take responsibility for everyone?Ē I canít. Sometimes people thinkÖ

 

Carla:  Well, itís not about drama, though, itís about resting in people and letting people rest in you. Itís more being.

 

Wynn:  Right; exactly, exactly, exactly. You know, when you put yourself out into the world and you do something like this, invariably there are people that think youíre magic; that knowing you is going to fix them which is not usually the case. If you allow that to occur you end up with people pulling on your energies all the time and becoming dependent on you. The key to this is to put it all out in such a way that people take it back it to themselves and learn how to draw on whatís inside them.

 

But you can add to that this group energy aspect which doesnít actually take any effort on my part; it does not deplete me to be participating in a group energy creation. In fact, it feels like it makes me stronger. Thatís my experience.

 

Carla? What do you say?

 

Carla:  I guess what I said was pretty much it. Itís not about doing anything with people or having them do anything with you; itís a presence that is restful. You rest in them; they rest in you. I think that as youíre relating through the love in each other and itís a spiritual love, so that thereís nothing of the personal in it. I would guess that it would be at the level of the archetypes; the level so deep that itís deep within the beginnings of our human-hood.

 

I think we feel it if weíre part of a congregation at all; if we come together to worship. If we really are in a worshipping congregation, as opposed to a kind of a country club that is pretending to worship or a Ďjoy-song thingí where you just get all jumped-up and excited and youíre not really resting in each otheróif youíre really coming to worship and if thereís that feeling of being a family in Christ or a family,  I donít know how other people put that in other world religions; I just have my own Christianity and so Iím kind of narrow there, but with that model Iíve often felt that wonderful feeling of that beautiful knowledge of people way deep down below how old they are, what they do for a living, what their circumstances are, if they have children, if theyíre alone in life, anything like that. Itís so comforting.

 

I really miss her; there was a gal that every Christmas eve I used to just send her the world ĎJesusí and sheíd send me the word ĎJesusí and weíd know. Thatís all we needed. Of course, there was Don Elkins that I shared sixteen years of silence with; he never said anything about how he felt about me or anybody. He never talked; a very silent man and yet I had no question as to how he felt. It was so comforting to rest in him; he was like home to me.

 

Wynn:  You could feel him inside you, yes?

 

Carla:  Yes and I do to this day, even though heís been dead since í84. Definitely; it doesnít go away. Itís so peaceful and itís so abiding and I appreciate it so much.

 

I appreciate all of you. I think that on these calls we really do enter into each other and love each other. It isnít that slurpy, ďIsnít it wonderful?Ē kind of love; itís a love that doesnít need any expression. It just is. So thatís where I would put it; I would put it way down below, before you ever get to things like language and relationships and stuff.

 

Wynn:  Alright. You know what? Itís 6:59; weíve got to close this call. Thank you all for being here; thanks Carla, Terry, Daphne. Just letting you know, next week, if all goes well: Barry Morrow who wrote The Rain Man is going to be our guest. I hope you show up. Thank you BBS; weíll see you next time.

 



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